One Sunday Hannu proposed that we would go to Viikki forest for a walk. We rode there with bikes and it was a beautiful sunny evening.
(The place is absolutely gorgeous, so if you haven’t been there, I truly can recommend it!)
We were walking this one path and stopped at a bird-watching tower. There we had some tea, admired storks and the amazing scenery. Very soon, Hannu had an impulse to take a swim in the sea. Me I just wanted to continue walking, so I asked him not to go. It would take time and I would have to wait alone. Plus, he didn’t even have swimwear or towel with him. Hannu agreed, and we continued our walk.
Hannu´s next inspiration or impulse came when we saw a herd of cows grazing on a field near by. The distance between us and the cows was about 20 meters and there was an electric fence between us. He wanted to go inside the fence to take a closer look. I was terrified! There was an electric fence for a reason. You would think, that it means you are not allowed to cross!
I insisted that we’d continue our walk. Reluctantly, Hannu agreed.
We had walked about 5 minutes when all of a sudden, we saw a deer jump in the near field about 5 meters away. The grass was so high that you couldn’t see the deer very well. You could only see the grass moving. Of course, Hannu got really excited and started to look how he could get past the electric fence to investigate the situation closer. Something came over me, because, again I felt some what anxious and just wanted to continue. This time around I was already asking Hannu with an annoyed tone, “please, let’s just go. Fortunately, I was not being heard.
Hannu found his way under the fence and started tracking the deer traces with big enthusiasm. I waited, together with my annoyance.
He walked on the field, investigated for a little while, and came back radiating with joy, even though he didn’t find the deer. We continued.
Soon there was an opening to another field filled with cows. Straight away I said: ”You can’t go, they can be aggressive! and you will be electrocuted!”. Hannu looked at me with this playful smile he often has. He carefully tried the fence, found his a way under it, and went to greet the cows.
I just stood there paralyzed. Watched him and stressed. I was afraid that the cows would kick or bite him, but they were just very interested in the new comer. Hannu ran joyfully around the field and the cows ran after him.
After a while he came back even more joyous and radiant. I have to say that at that point I felt pretty embarrassed for being so stiff and conventional. Because what happened to him as he followed his impulses was beautiful.
He also shared, that it is important for him to make his experiences physical, because that gives his body positive memories.
I didn’t get it immediately that night, but I have been thinking about this lately. Do I give myself permission to explore moments or do I pass on them and walk the familiar route? Do I even get those kinds of impulses? It’s so comical to notice these rigid, so called, grown-up manners in yourself. I mean, being conventional and boring.
As a kid you wanted to climb on every tree on the way and explore every hole and rock on the ground. Now you notice you have become someone, who wants to walk on a clean path so your shoes don’t get dirty…
The thing is, that I already know how it is to walk on that kind of path. There is nothing new about that. Where did I lose my explorer? I do remember being one. How did I become so attached to staying in my comfort zone.
Do I say no to a spontaneous swim, because I cannot stand cold water, or because I have been told no too many times as a child? I think about this because, I have a feeling, that I was not this neat. I wanted to experience more moments, more life. I didn’t want to walk past them.
On the way home, Hannu took his swim finally and this time around I didn’t say a thing. I just looked at this amazing teacher in awe. He did trip on the rocks and got a bleeding cut on his knee, which he wouldn’t even have noticed, had if I hadn’t pointed it out.
Maybe I could go and have a walk on the fields sometimes, get off my usual path…
Dare to do something out of ordinary and get a new experiences. For sure, I will be listening very carefully from now on. You never know, I might hear a weird little voice inside me wanting to do something that has no sense at all.
Have an amazing day ya’ll!
With ❤️ Amira