Two and a half years ago I was taking a walk around the bay of Töölö, when I saw a group of people dancing at the amphitheater next to the opera house. I stopped to admire thinking that as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to dance couple dances. I spotted my friend Iiris there and went to say hello. Soon one of the guys came to ask me for a dance. The dance was Brazilian Zouk and I had never even heard of it. I went to dance with him and next week I started the dance lessons.
Now I have been dancing passionately for two and a half years. In addition to Zouk also Kizomba has come to stay in my life, a dance that originates from Angola. Dance in general has brought so much good in my life and it has taught me in many ways. Especially dance has taught me great deal about my femininity and how to enjoy my body. Finnish culture is filled with ”strong” women, who choose to get through everything on their own. We don’t trust men and wont give them a chance to help or contribute. Instead we castrate them. We feel, that things are done quicker and better by ourselves. And no wonder why, as it is not long time ago in Finnish history, when men and brothers went to war and didn’t come back as themselves. I myself am a child of a single parent and had no male role model anywhere at sight.
At first it was really weird to let someone lead on the dance floor. ”What! I don’t have to be in charge all the time”. The more I dared to give in, soften and just follow, the more I started to feel my femininity, understand it and myself. I felt enormously relieved. In almost all of my relationships with men, I have been the one who has taken the first step. My masculine energy has over ruled the feminine. No more of that, it is not satisfying for me as a woman. Now I finally know how to give space, though it did take a long time.
It is fantastic to let the man be in charge, surrender and trust. To really feel myself like a woman. Couple dancing is a great teacher for this as everything is so simple. The dance does not work, if both dancers don’t stay in their roles. The man is allowed to be the man, he takes the charge and leads. He makes the decisions, for the benefit of both, while listening and respecting the woman. I can just lean, let go of the control and receive. The movements the man makes in the moment, are gifts for me. It is so exciting and such a pleasure to be in the moment with someone and not knowing what happens next. When the basic roles are present, its is very satisfying for both.
In our world people get to know each other mainly through verbal communication. It has been so refreshing and beautiful to meet without words. Last weekend I asked the name of a guy with whom I have been dancing at least six months in the same parties – so funny!
For me dance is like meditation. It feels so good and right to let go of the mind and surrender fully to the body consciousness. Few weeks back I had an experience at a Kizomba party, where my mind totally disappeared. I didn’t experience myself following or even listening the music anymore. I was in an experience where two bodies became one and moved together in perfect harmony.
Since I started dancing the long darkness of the Finnish winter has not bothered me as much as before. I can only imagine how much endorphins dance produces. Bars have changed in to dance parties, where people meet sober and end up home drunk. Drunk from joy, connection, music, closeness and touch. Everyone has a content and peaceful grin on their face. You know a bit like that look one has after they just had some.
Have a fantastic day ya’ll!