For three years now, I have been passionate about couple dances. During the past year I’ve been constantly amazed by how much I still learn through dancing and especially how my dance experiences keep expanding. One part of me believes that this is logical and how things roll in life. Other part wonders how utterly perfect moments can still grow and expand.
Few years ago I felt afraid and insecure on the dance floor, and these emotions consumed most of my energy. As a beginner and novice I felt very nervous especially when dancing with someone more experienced. These dances were perfect opportunities to work again and again on my compassion and love towards myself. When I danced with someone in the same level as me, it was easier to be.
Time passed and I started having occasional amazing dance experiences with these more experienced leaders. Of course I became very thirsty for these great leaders, believing that my dance experience was dependent on how talented the leader was. In those days I still placed my own power outside of myself.
Another year passed and my experiences with these great leaders kept on expanding. Dancing with them felt heavenly and I couldn’t stop smiling. Every dancer knows what I’m talking about. Moments of perfect harmony, timing, connection and joy. I was able to relax completely while dancing, from jaw to toes and surrendered to this ecstatic state. When I came from the dance floor I felt almost drunk. I thought there cannot be anything better, that this was it. But I was wrong. My experiences were about to get even deeper. I was experiencing ”the best dances ever” every few weeks. Eventually I realized and admitted to myself, that my inner experience of blissful vibes is in an ever expanding state.
Then came a very special evening. I was in a fun party with my friend Sari. We decided to leave and go dancing instead. When we got to the dance floor, there were not many dancers there and none of my favorite leaders. I was disappointed and wished that I had not come at all. However, someone asked me to dance and I went.
I experienced some kind of opening that night. Inside myself I fell into this beautiful blissful state, where all the dances I had felt heavenly regardless of the leaders skills or my own technical ability.
I walked home feeling enourmous gratitude. With the greatest humility I was puzzled by how amazing I was. What the hell was going on!!? I was perplexed that there is so much love inside of me, that is completely interdependent and free of other people and outside circumstances. I was thinking how amazing we humans are, that there is limitless amount of abundance inside us, that is expanding like this beautiful universe. What a precious mystery we are. What magical and beautiful things there are to be found inside of us. I realized this through dance. Everyone can learn this through engaging in something you truly love.
Past year dancing has meen mind-blowing. I’ve been able to let go of most of my insecurities and I really enjoy dancing with everybody. Except when I’m being pulled too hard or the leaders hold is too strong for my taste and I cannot relax on my own two feet. Or when I’m having a shitty day. Well usually if I have a shitty day, that most likely changes into a beautiful day on the dance floor.
I want to say thank you from the bottom of my soul to all of you dancers/leaders. On the dance floor we are truly creating a beautiful and better world together.
My dance experiences keep on expanding but I have quit analyzing or defining them. It might feel that It’s crazy, confusing and magical that the good vibes can constantly grow. But that’s just how it is, I cannot argue my own experience. Better not define at all. Ego just wants to stay safe and in control by labeling. Better to ignore it.
I remember watching the night sky as a child and wondering its vastness. I always felt a bit dizzy and anxious because I could not comprehend something so big. The thing is that the sky is not supposed to be ”comprehended”, because it can’t be understood by logical mind. Better not say, this it how it is or this is how things go. No, no, no, don’t define and instead, give yourself the possibility to experience your own unlimited potential.
With love ❤️Amira
p.s. In the picture my dance idol and dear friend Noora Kykkänen